Letter to the Editor 12/04/08

Dear Editor:

As of December 1, 2008, my daughters and I have not received a response to our request for an investigation by the Board of Education during the meeting on November 18, 2008. We have left messages with our BOE Commissioners checking on the response.

Let me clarify our position in response to Ms. Campbell’s letter to the Editor published in the November 26, 2008 paper. A statement from the kicker (bully) that it is “just child’s play” is all well and good on the kicker’s part, however, without receiving the same interpretation from the kickee, we again have a skewed statistic. All I know is that I personally would not have wanted to be the kickee – how about you? Unless you are the person being harassed and bullied, you can only imagine how this feels. (I wonder if Ms. Fox feels that her social skills were enhanced by this experience or if she just declines to get near Ms. Campbell.)

I am not concerned that my grandchildren’s abilities to learn how to give and take “during normal child’s play” are at jeopardy, however, that adults stand by watching while bullying escalates to 16 children ganging up on one child within a nine week period and DO NOTHING TO STOP IT, is unbelievable. It is unbelievable that adults interview the attacker and determine, on just the attacker’s testimony, that it was only “child’s play”. My granddaughter was not interviewed and witnesses were not interviewed. She was told that there was not enough “evidence” of the attack and so nothing would be done. I guess her sprained neck and shoulder were not considered evidence at all.

I can’t imagine a group of people standing by and allowing these situations to happen to an adult much less a child. It is inconceivable to me why a teacher would want this type of behavior to continue in the classroom. We are not asking that teachers become “parents”, but we are asking that parents be informed of their child’s behavior and told that if it does not improve, the child will be removed from the classroom so that the teachers can teach and the other children can learn. The end result of our experience is that one grandchild was moved to another set of students – nothing happened to the student bullies, ergo, the victim was punished and the 16 aggressors “got away with it.” If my child was one of the bullies in these situations, I would want to be immediately informed. My student would be severely punished by me for their unacceptable behavior. I wonder if any of the parents of these children were informed of their child’s misbehavior.

I worry about what kind of people we would become if it was generally accepted that ganging up on one person, no matter their age, is socially beneficial. This isn’t reality TV and this isn’t the movies. Real children are being endangered and real adults are looking the other way. It did not happen when I was a student, it did not happen when my children were students and I don’t believe it needs to be happening now.

No parent sends their child to school in order to have bullying and harassment “make them better able to interact as an adult in a social situation.” I don’t believe that bullying and harassment are a necessary evil in order to become a “fully developed social adult”. I have worked in different professions, for different entities and in different levels of responsibility. I never required having experienced bullying and harassment, either as the bully or the victim, to make me better equipped for social interaction and/or to be successful in the work force. To infer that a child in this type of situation is as equally equipped as an adult to protect themselves is ludicrous. If this were so, students wouldn’t need parents once they reached the age to attend school. We could just push them out of the nest and be assured that they will become healthy, successful adults. Further, to infer that a parent is overprotective or just needs to step back and let the child handle the situation is also ludicrous. As an adult if a situation becomes intolerable, I can choose to leave, I can find another job or group of friends (i.e., take my toys and go home). Does a child have that same opportunity? A child looks to its parents first, and then the adults in charge, for guidance and protection. We would be remiss as parents if we told our children to just “suck it up”.

No one is suggesting that there are “throw away” children, but without adults helping these children to understand that their behavior is totally unacceptable in any situation (school, social or work force) is, in fact, throwing them away. Not curbing the unacceptable behavior in our classrooms is throwing all of our children away. Please remember that the middle school has been on “needs improvement” for five years.

Those that attended the school board meeting and heard what my daughters and I told the officials, know that we met with the teachers, the administration, Mr. Williams, and spoke with Mr. Brinson on the telephone. Our decision to go to the school board was because no one would acknowledge that the situation was real. Our decision to continue in our efforts to assure the end of the bullying, harassment and physical attacks at all of our educational facilities will be because no changes are forthcoming. We are not asking for something new. School systems have always been charged with providing a safe learning environment for students while on school grounds. Jasper County taxpayers recognized and outlined this responsibility in the agendas which are handed out to each student and which each professional in the employ of the Jasper County school system is charged with carrying out. Even if you don’t have a student in the system, you should, at the very least, want to get what you are paying for.






Donna Telley